bad day

If my heart is made out of gold than why does it feel like I’m here all alone
And you take me for granted
You take me for reasons known only by you

I’m hollowed out, can’t you see?
You’ve ripped out my soul right from under me
Have little to show for anything
It’s everything you hoped for

You take me for granted
You take me for reasons known only by you

I am so damn bored

all of the time. I'm beginning to hate living here.

I've noticed

that no one uses this anymore. Booooooooooooooooooring =/

So

this is what it feels like. Well since that part of my life is over, time to bring in the new. I just never imagined it would hurt so much. I'm pretty embarrassed to be honest. It's not ok, but I'll get through it and move on with my life.

Happiness

Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good, but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s probably enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home

I Wonder How

I let myself get to this point. How I let myself hangout with people who only brought me down. Wow. What a fucking reality check. I think I have a feeling of whose reaaaallly a good friend or not. I'm definitely not going to be the one handing out third and fourth chances. Too bad I don't care anymore! I figure once I move out, I wont have to see or talk to any of them anymore. Oh well! :D

Random Thought

Everyone needs to stop feeling sorry for themselves... Myself included. Life is an amazing thing, so stop dwelling on what's wrong and focus on what you're doing right so far. Eventually it's gonna work out, but by feeling hopeless you're not gonna get anywhere. Being positive takes you places. Just remember a lot of people have it so much worse than you. If they can prosper in a world like this, so can you.

Next week is my last week of having a social life. Helloooo 4 months of lacrosse :) Haha.

I JUST LOVE FINALS WEEK! :D
.......Nawt.

Goodnight! :)

Conclusion

We want different things, it's as simple as that. You can't motivate someone who doesn't want it. You can't help someone who doesn't want it. You can just watch them set themselves up for failure and fall. It's hard, but there's nothing you can do.

She Don't Want Nobody Near

She don’t want nobody near
But you can't get away from that
They appear and disappear
And they all get strings attached
Pretty soon they've got you hanging on the line
Pretty soon they’re singin’ one by one, the same old rhyme
They say, "I'm all right, I just can’t get home tonight."

She don't want nobody home
’Cause it's a little too crowded there
She don't want to be alone
So they just keep pourin’ in
Pretty soon they've got her headed for the door
She comes home to find that they’re not hangin’ round no more
She says, "I'm all right, you just can’t get home tonight."
Don’t you wonder what she looks like in the light?
She says “I’m all right, I just can’t get home tonight.”

Pretty whitewashed lies, endless alibis,
And reasons that need cleanin’ every night
Half a world away, you can't wash away
The stain of her deceivin’
And the things that you could not believe in

Well, she don't want no one around
’Cause she don't want anybody to see
What she looks like when she's down
’Cause that’s a really sad place to be
Pretty soon she gets them crawling up the walls
Then she wonders why they beg her please, then never call
She says, "I'm okay, it's all right, hey, look who’s on TV tonight.”
She says, "I'm all right, I just can't get home tonight."
Don’t you wonder why it’s dark outside at night?
She says “I’m all right, I just can’t get home tonight.”
She says “I’m all right, I just can’t get home tonight.”

I just realized

I just realized how incredibly angry and depressing this blog is hahahaha. I'll stop now.

Well on a lighter note, I've got two days of school down, and only 3 more to go until a very good weekend :) Here is what I'm doing the rest of the week!

Tuesday:
School
Venture
Dinna with da fam

Wednesday:
School
Tutoring
10 months wiff Timotay

Thursday:
School
Venture

Friday:
School
AMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Saturday:
TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Sunday:
Bleh

So if anyone wants to hangout, I have some openings hahaha

Later :)

Hmmm

If you don't like me for who I am or what I do, then why even make the effort to pretend and be nice to me?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

First Day Back

This life looks like a sentence, though
A constant game of falling short
If you know, you know
If you know, you know
When I feel like this
When I'm just so sick of feeling less than perfect
Is it right for me?
I never fight to see if coming clean would get to me
I feel myself holding back
I feel the pressure, it's finally back

Ultimate Test

Going off to college next year is gonna be the ultimate test to see who cares enough to stick around in my life. I already have my bets on whose out.